Dressed To Kill

Recently, a friend of mine told me I was the only girl he had ever seen who didn't enjoy dressing up. Okay, so maybe he is right to a certain extent. Having detailed discussions about fashion and clothes does make me uncomfortable and I don't spend a huge chunk of my time deciding what to wear, but the fact is that even I put some thought into what I wear and how I look.

I have had my good moments but I have had terrible ones too when it comes to fashion. It all started when I was about nine or ten years old. My mother had just gotten a new set of clothes for me and it had been a long time since I had owned something new. The newness was so fascinating that I ended up wearing my new T-shirt and shorts everyday to the neighbourhood park for a month. At first, nobody noticed. Then, they noticed but politely remained silent. Finally, they spoke up and raised the obvious question, "Why do you wear the same clothes everyday?"

I didn't have an answer. My new clothes made me feel great and new, but somehow the empowerment they gave me were embarrassing to put in so many words. That's when I realized- my clothes didn't empower me as long as I was not completely frank and confident about them.

Then came the bad hair days at the age of twelve. First, my hairdresser cut off my hair so short that I couldn't tie them up in a ponytail anymore. This was traumatizing, even though I put on a brave face, because my hair had been short when I was young and now, when I was finally enjoying long tresses, my hair had been cut off again. When I went to school the next day, everybody told me how bad I looked. Maybe they were just being honest, but from what I remember, I didn't look that bad. I just looked very different all of a sudden. Then started a long string of bad hairstyles, frankly because I didn't know what to do with my hair. Leaving them the way they were wasn't allowed as per school rules and I still hadn't grown my hair enough to tie it up.

Then came the bangs. They were a mass of short hair covering my forehead while I let the rest of my hair grow. My parents compared me to Sadhana, an actress from a bygone era is Bollywood. When I looked in the mirror, it somehow looked like a black rat was swallowing my forehead. But I kept the haircut for a long time. Even now, I keep some strands short in the front of my head. I've grown used to it and the black rat somehow no longer makes an appearance.

Now that I'm a little more grown up, I have a strict policy when it comes to shopping. When you go to shot, look at everything in the rack for exactly one second. The ones that catch your attention are the only ones you should take. Don't get into discussions over your choices as long as the discussion isn't about your budget. Basically, don't talk much and you will end up buying okay stuff.

My friend is right. I don't enjoy dressing up as much as other girls. But frankly, I don't hate it either. But when you look back on all your fashion experiences, you'll see your clothes have changes but you haven't changed accordingly. You clothes don't always make you. Just because you spend hours dressing yourself up doesn't mean you're pretty. Just wear whatever makes you feel comfortable, whatever gets you the kind and amount of attention you want and I promise, you'll look fine.