What You Should And Shouldn't Learn From Fairytales: Beauty and the Beast

The Deal: Merchant has three girls, youngest is named Beauty. Beauty is kind and pure-hearted, also the underdog. Merchant goes abroad, girls want gifts upon his return. Beauty only wants a red rose. On his trip, merchant gets lost in the forest, takes shelter in the Beast's forest. He plucks out a rose from Beast's rose garden. Beast is not very happy. Merchant is scared, offers to give Beauty to Beast in return for his safe journey back home. Miss Goody Two Shoes Beauty willingly goes to Beast's Castle. Beast falls in love with Beauty and asks him to marry him, but she refuses because she's stubbornly friendzoned him. Beauty goes home for a week, and her sisters (those mean girls!) are jealous that she lives in a fabulous castle and beg her to stay. Beauty agrees, but feels guilty about abandoning Beast. She finds out that the Beast is dying of heartbreak, she rushes back to him and admits her love for him. Her tears fall on Beast and he is transformed into a prince. And then, well, happily ever after.

What You Shouldn't Learn From It: 
1. When your father basically pawns you off in exchange for his own safety, do not go wherever he's trying to send you. Just...run off to the Himalayas or something.
2. Not all sisters are mean and jealous. Most of them are your best friends for life. So don't let this story give you an idea of what sisters are like.
3. If your sisters really are mean and jealous, and they want you to stay home with them, well, just say you can't but you'll send emails all the time!
4. Don't fall in love with someone who has basically held you captive. That's called Stockholm Syndrome. And just because he looks like a beast doesn't mean you need to feel sorry for him. I mean, he's held you captive for God's sake, instead of, say, taking you out on a date. I understand the writers didn't think like this because the story was written ages ago, but it's been a while and we're smarter now.

What You Should Learn From It:
The way Beast turns into a handsome prince? That's just a metaphor for how the plainest of people can became beautiful in your eyes when you admit to their being good people and fall in love with them.