Recently, an interesting incident occurred.
We had some home work that I thought I had done quite well. I thought I had come up with a simple solution to kind of a difficult problem. My teacher praised me. He also praised a lot of other kids in the class, too, not that any of them valued the praise because this particular teacher isn't all that familiar to us and most people don't believe he has anything valuable to offer.
Throughout the class, my teacher kept singling my work out. Throughout the class I had to sit through people all around me snickering, and the snickering just kept getting louder and louder.
The reason my classmates responded this way was because they think this particular teacher favors me because I am a girl, a girl he likes. It was very embarrassing for me. I don't use my feminity to attract people to get ahead in life, and it's a policy I adhere to as if it were a religion. So yeah, the response hurt.
What hurt even more was that my work was ridiculed and diminished in value. I will admit that even if it is true that this particular teacher does favor me, as far as my work is concerned, I have always taken it as a motivation and not as an unfair advantage. In college, none of the teachers treated me as special, so every time somebody does, I try to use it to do better.
Also, let me point out that the truth is that most of the other students had not worked very hard on the assignment. A third of the class did not submit. Many of those who did didn't put any heart in their work. Also, a lot of the of the got compliments. He told one student that if she is as original as her work on the assignment shows, some day she will make a good architect. He told one girl, who really does get overshadowed some times, that her work was the best, and she really understands process. And then there's this one guy who, so far, has never got a single compliment for design, but this teacher said his idea for the assignment was 'not bad' and could really be worked with.
Nobody saw that I had actually done the work and even enjoyed working. Nobody even considered that maybe my work had any merit. Yes, the teacher favours me, but nobody saw that most teachers (even female teachers, by the way. How come we never take that seriously?) have favorite students. And worst of all, whatever judgements were being made on the teacher's character, the same judgements were inadvertently being reflected on me, too. And the whole time, I kept thinking that I had done nothing wrong. I was disappointed that I have not been able to prove the strength of my character so far, even though I have worked really hard for it.
I have pointed this out to people, and they say it's all good fun and that I shouldn't take it to heart. But the thing is I have been called a lot of things in my short life, from weird to asocial to antisocial to someone who acts quiet and righteous but actually "has her own games" (yeah, that last one even sent me cracking). Bt I never took it to heart. But this time I am taking it to heart because I feel like I have earned a right to. I could have been the girl who took advantage if male teachers to get ahead, the girl who played games. But instead I am hear, braving myself to ridicule and simply trying to explain my point of view.
So now tell me. Do you truly, truly believe I deserved the snickering?
And just so we are clear, I am not a victim in this situation. I am just someone who is weird, antisocial and maybe has some games up her sleeve, but nevertheless someone who doesn't want her very character being laughed at and expects fair recognition for her work. Nothing more, nothing less.