Are You Afraid Of the Dark? Don't Be.
Remember when we were kids and frightened by the dark? I guess none of us really remember at what age we started turning on the lights by ourselves but it came to us naturally. Since then, looking at darkness has made us want to light up the room. But that's the hard part- you have to look at the darkness.
I always encourage people to be honest with themselves. Frankly, I hate dishonesty. Being honest includes embracing our dark side. It includes looking into everything carefully and seeing everything for what it really is. Believe me, true happiness can be achieved only when we have faced unhappiness. Lifestyle gurus can tell us all about positive thinking and meditation and blah blah blah, but the truth is that if we try to be happy all the time by ignoring the bad things in and around us, we will never be satisfied with what we have. I sometimes believe it is the quest for perpetual happiness that makes people greedy. Instead of perpetual happiness and excitement, one should first look for perpetual contentment and then pursue interest that add excitement to our life.
So, to embrace the darkness, here are a few tips:
1. Know what people love you for:
If you are under the illusion that everyone loves you for your personality, you are wrong. Different people like us for different reasons. Some just like the way we look. Some are in awe of us and feel secure in our presence. Some like us for their own purpose. There are only a few people who love us for who we are. Don't over- or underestimate yourself depending on how surrounded by people you are. But beware when using this tip- you might come up with some hurtful discoveries. For example, your best friend might be using you for something or your boyfriend might want you just because other guys want you.
2. Ask Yourself Questions:
Whatever you ask, answer honestly and keep repeating the answer in your head. In the beginning, it'll be hard. You might feel deprived of the happiness that is brought by not questioning anything. But soon, you'll have a simple, uncomplicated life.
3. Be Practical:
A lot of people are going to encourage your dreams. Very few will help you achieve them. Don't let your dreams overshadow reality. The truth is that the world is a very competitive, mean, horrible place. We must first be able to secure a place in it. Only then can we even hope to make any difference to it. But this doesn't mean that dreams need to be given up and don't listen to anybody who asks you to do so. Divide your time in such a way that you get to work both on your interests and your obligations.
4. Remember That You're Not Someone Out of a TV Show:
Whatever you see in magazine and TV and films is all fake. Your hair will never be as perfect as the one's that models have. Your eyes will not be like Aishwarya Rai's, you smile will not be like Katrina Kaif's, you will never be as thin as the models on the ramp. A lot of time, effort and money goes into making them what they are and so, it's impossible for us to attain. Just look at the 'before' and 'after' pictures of those girls on the TOP MODEL shows. They look like normal girls without all the make-up. And I'm not just speaking of appearances. Our lives are never going to be as exciting as the people who act in sitcoms without causing us some pain. Break-ups and divorces are never funny. Friends from high-school don't magically end up at the same college. So don't expect these things.
I have only helped you see the truth a little better. Could you blame me for that? I am not trying to make you pessimistic. I'm just saying that you could be happier if you just stop pretending that you already are.
When we're grown-up, I don't think anybody would want to go back to the time when darkness was a source of fear. At some point, we all just accept darkness as a part of the natural world and realize that we need to fill it with light. Looking away and turning to pale glimmer from a distant source doesn't help for long.
I always encourage people to be honest with themselves. Frankly, I hate dishonesty. Being honest includes embracing our dark side. It includes looking into everything carefully and seeing everything for what it really is. Believe me, true happiness can be achieved only when we have faced unhappiness. Lifestyle gurus can tell us all about positive thinking and meditation and blah blah blah, but the truth is that if we try to be happy all the time by ignoring the bad things in and around us, we will never be satisfied with what we have. I sometimes believe it is the quest for perpetual happiness that makes people greedy. Instead of perpetual happiness and excitement, one should first look for perpetual contentment and then pursue interest that add excitement to our life.
So, to embrace the darkness, here are a few tips:
1. Know what people love you for:
If you are under the illusion that everyone loves you for your personality, you are wrong. Different people like us for different reasons. Some just like the way we look. Some are in awe of us and feel secure in our presence. Some like us for their own purpose. There are only a few people who love us for who we are. Don't over- or underestimate yourself depending on how surrounded by people you are. But beware when using this tip- you might come up with some hurtful discoveries. For example, your best friend might be using you for something or your boyfriend might want you just because other guys want you.
2. Ask Yourself Questions:
Whatever you ask, answer honestly and keep repeating the answer in your head. In the beginning, it'll be hard. You might feel deprived of the happiness that is brought by not questioning anything. But soon, you'll have a simple, uncomplicated life.
3. Be Practical:
A lot of people are going to encourage your dreams. Very few will help you achieve them. Don't let your dreams overshadow reality. The truth is that the world is a very competitive, mean, horrible place. We must first be able to secure a place in it. Only then can we even hope to make any difference to it. But this doesn't mean that dreams need to be given up and don't listen to anybody who asks you to do so. Divide your time in such a way that you get to work both on your interests and your obligations.
4. Remember That You're Not Someone Out of a TV Show:
Whatever you see in magazine and TV and films is all fake. Your hair will never be as perfect as the one's that models have. Your eyes will not be like Aishwarya Rai's, you smile will not be like Katrina Kaif's, you will never be as thin as the models on the ramp. A lot of time, effort and money goes into making them what they are and so, it's impossible for us to attain. Just look at the 'before' and 'after' pictures of those girls on the TOP MODEL shows. They look like normal girls without all the make-up. And I'm not just speaking of appearances. Our lives are never going to be as exciting as the people who act in sitcoms without causing us some pain. Break-ups and divorces are never funny. Friends from high-school don't magically end up at the same college. So don't expect these things.
I have only helped you see the truth a little better. Could you blame me for that? I am not trying to make you pessimistic. I'm just saying that you could be happier if you just stop pretending that you already are.
When we're grown-up, I don't think anybody would want to go back to the time when darkness was a source of fear. At some point, we all just accept darkness as a part of the natural world and realize that we need to fill it with light. Looking away and turning to pale glimmer from a distant source doesn't help for long.
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