Love In The Time Of Infatuation

The last boyfriend I ever had was when I was three-years-old. We went to play-school together and for all I knew, I was in love. For me, the world was just like they showed in Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge. You could fall in love, have some exciting adventures and eventually get married. Given my habit of coming straight to the point, I skipped the middle part and jumped right to the conclusion- I asked him to marry me. He, being the mother's boy that he was, said, "I'll ask my mom". The following day, he came and informed me that his mother was strictly against this union.

So that was how my heart broke and my love story ended.

Ideally, my first love story should have come in my teenage years, but I have a tendency to be leaps ahead of my peers when it comes to life. But now when I think back of the vague memory I have of the proposal and the subsequent rejection, I think of how simple it all was. It was easy to tell someone how you felt without thinking of the consequences, and when the consequences came, no matter how negative they were, they were easy to accept and moving on came naturally.

When the time to date and maybe have a boyfriend finally came, things in and around me had changed.

There were one or two girls in school whom every boy wanted to date and I wasn't one of them. The desire to prove myself set in. I no longer wanted to be given attention to just because of who I was seeing but because of what I was doing, and sure, I never did anything miraculous, but at least I wasn't just another girl people knew from rumors. I made some silent enemies, I made some friends, but I never really had any association with any of the boys I kind of liked. Next year, I will be an adult. I have friends who have already had girlfriends/boyfriends. I am still unlinked. In a lot of ways, I don't feel sad about that.

Love and romance are good in their own place and when the time for them comes, but when we are young, we are way too selfish. A lot of the popular, smart boys in my school have girlfriends who pose absolutely

NO competition to them. Many of the pretty, intelligent girls are not dating. Teenaged years are basically a race to get attention, and people never want the attention to leave them. So, they date someone who won't threaten their status in school. Besides that, there is also a defense mechanism in the working. People always want to be the one breaking up, they don't want to be broken up with. They want to have the upper hand in relationships, and truly speaking, it's not their fault. If you get dumped, you'll be labeled as pathetic. Nobody wants that.

People who ant attention get it, people who need companionship get it and everybody else gets their piece of gossip. Everybody's happy, right?

Wrong.

The whole limerance thing may be exciting, but it has its downsides. Heartbreak is the worst feeling ever. So is jealousy. You might be chasing after a futile relationship and losing sight of a friend who really cares about you and deserves you more.

But mind you, there are exceptions. I do know a few people who really seem to like each other. I hope things work out for them without affecting their studies and careers in any negative way.

I'm still young and I'm still figuring things out, but I'm still mature enough to know when I'm not ready for something. And dating is something I'm not ready for and I choose to stay away from it. I'll get the attention I need to get from somewhere else, doing something else. Meanwhile, I'll keep looking for the simplicity that I once enjoyed.

If only it hadn't been for the mother....