Growing Up- 1

One of the biggest parts in the life of any Indian student my age is exams. There's lots of them- hard ones, easy ones (those are rare), routine ones, class tests, first term, finals, semesters, boards, competitive exams- you name it, and there is an exam to fit the category.

I clearly remember the time when this wasn't the case for me. Before I moved to Mumbai, exams were never really important. My parents called me lazy, insincere and what not because they were worried I would never become serious. But I think I wasn't any of the things they said I was. I was just.... a kid. 

Till I was in fourth, I never opened my book. Studying was an alien concept. I admired and sometimes envied the kids who scored good marks and got good grades. All the teachers thought they were the cream of the school and paid extra attention to them. But still, I never made the effort to be like them myself. At the time, my painting and writing wasn't taken very seriously either, so I didn't have the excuse of being good at something else. 

Usually, teachers call parents on parent-teacher meetings to tell them their kid isn't doing enough academically. But in my case, it was quite different. My teachers didn't like my academic record, but my class teacher liked me for my behavior. She always took my side. On the day of the parent-teacher meeting, my mother asked me to wait outside the classroom while she talked to my teacher. I knew she wanted to complain about me not studying at home. But my teacher was shocked. She didn't even believe my mother and said there was nothing wrong with the way I was working. Looking back, I realize my mother was right and my teacher wrong. i had a good impression on my teacher and she believed in an image of me that wasn't realistic. But my mother knew  me better and was more concerned about my well-being. She was the one with the correct opinion.

Two years later, exams became a little more important. I started middle school and now got to see a lot of older kids who were serious about studies. So, I started studying before exams. All year, I would do nothing, but two days before the exam, I started learning notes. One of the biggest problems of the Indian education system is its emphasis on memorization of facts. But this flaw helped me during that time. In-depth study requires time and effort. But the time and effort I was giving was enough to mug up facts. So, I went from the bottom 25% of class to bottom 50% of class. It wasn't very good, but still, it was a climb up the ladder.

This went on for a long time. But my intelligence kept growing (even if I say so myself). I read a lot of books and learnt a lot of things by this habit. So, studies somehow became very simple for me. I had now started learning, not just from textbooks but from other sources as well. My favorite subject was human behavior, which didn't help me write tests, but gave me a better understanding of things.

Then I moved to Mumbai and something inside me changed. I started taking my education seriously. I wanted to be a good student, a sincere schoolgirl who did her best, but at the same time I didn't want to become a bookworm. Exams became serious business. I actually prepared for them. I used reference books, things I had never even looked at before. I started getting up early in the morning so I would have time to study without giving up on other things like writing.  Exams are still a struggle for me. I may still not be able to get into one of the best colleges. But I am trying now.

It's not just about reading. It's about realizing it's important to take responsibility for my life. I am a privileged girl from a good family. My parents take care of everything for me. But I want to do something for myself. I want to give my education due importance. I want to continue doing the things I love, not letting exams and books overshadow my other interests. I am a student, learning is my job, so why not do it? You could ask me if I'm happy. Well, frankly, the ten-year-old girl who slacked her way through school and was still adored by her class teacher had more fun than I ever do, but I can't go back to being that even when I see a light shadow of that version of me in my friends' faces. Being a child is good, but growing up is something to be proud of and growing backwards is just frightening.