How To Make Friends Without Alienating People

Popularity really is something, isn't it? The guy all the girls chased after in high school might remain your abject of envy or admiration even after you grow up and have a job that Mr. Popular can only dream about. The prettiest, most fun girl who became College Queen can go on to become a housewife with naggiong kids, but in your memories of her, she will always be who she once was- effortless in mingling, charming, smiling all the time.... Some people have the privilege of getting a lot of attention, and no matter how good you become, you will never be considered as great as them by your peers. You may be beautiful, but people will always find them attractive. You may be intelligent, but they will be the clever ones. That's just how it is.

But what exactly makes people popular?

I probably spent the whole of my teenaged life being the one that got left out. Now that I'm about to graduate from school, every memory involving school events seems to have me in it. That it, working in it. I am always either writing speeches (for myself or for other people), delivering speeches, doing debates, helping in the decoration commitee, participating in writing contests (and winning them) and even going to the extent of singing on stage when nobody else is willing to (trust me, singing is not my strong suit). My parents think I must be the girl everyone looks up to in school, but quite frankly, that's not the case. There is a separate group of kids that everyone wants to be with or be like, and that group doesn't include me. This simple truth has never bothered me much. I have always felt more at home with my friends, regardless of the fact that a lot of people don't even know our names.

But it can be a struggle sometimes. Being part of so many extra-curricular activities requires me to interact with students who are not my friends and I always end up feeling lonely in such situations. I have never been good at making friends because I need to work with someone because it feels forced and superficial, and a lot of school events in the last two years have been complete and utter nightmares for me.

So what is it that makes some people popular and the others not? I have noticed some traits in all popular people and following is a list-

a) Conformity: Most popular people are good at changing themselves as per company. I have never been good at that and neither have my friends, but it is a skill which can put you to a great social advantage. When you're with the smart kids act like Einstein is your idol. When you're with the bimbos, act as if your make-up and clothes are the centre of the universe. When you're with the other popular kids, act like you're friends with them even if you think of them as competition. So, rule number one in the great struggle to popularity- learn to conform.

b) Be Seen With The Right People: Some people have an undying thirst to get noticed. So, they attach themselves to people who themselves get noticed. They arrange people in order of priority. The may be having a good conversation with you, but the moment someone more popular comes along, they scoot over to siply walk away from you without remorse.

c) Remember the Beaming Smile: Is it normal to smile and say an enthusiastic 'hi' to everybody, even when you don't actually care about them? Well, some people are capable of doing that and it's not really a bad thing. It is a little superficial, but it makes people feel special. Practicing a range of expressions to show excitement, joy, admiration and so on is very imprtant if you want to be popular.

But a lot of really nice people are popular too. Sometimes, being helpful can make everyone like you and this is one method which involves no fakeness. So if you're interested in being liked by everyone, try this route. It will be the most rewarding in the long run.